Misty Water-Colored Memories...

Everyone has moments in their history that stick out in their mind forever. Whenever that date comes around again, they can't help but think back to that time, replaying it in their heads. One such time for me happened two years ago this night. It's not a particularly special story, but it's one that was a turning point for me.

It was a Sunday evening/night. We'd had Livers home from the hospital for two days, and we thought we had it EASY. She was eating good, sleeping good, not fussy at all. We both had been able to sleep some, and we thought we had such a handle on it that we told my mom that she didn't need to stay that night to help. We'd be able to take care of things ourselves.

Things took a turn for the worse at approximately 10:30, give or take a few minutes. Livers wasn't the best nurser to start with. She only would use a shield, and we only had two. Around this time J and I decided that we'd both pack it in early. He had his first day back to work from paternity leave, and he needed to get some sleep. I didn't know when the next feeding would come, and I wanted to be ready. We get things a little straight in the den, and as I'm heading back to the bedroom I casually ask J, "Don't forget the nipple shield."

"Umm, where is it?"

"It should be--"

But it wasn't.

Thus began the worst night ever. We tore the house up for a good thirty minutes trying to find that shield. It wasn't so much that it was lost, because we had a spare, but more so where it might be. You see, our darling dogs, particularly Lacey, had quite the penchant for eating things they shouldn't. We were really worried about them eating the nipple shield, because it was large and we were afraid that their bowels would get obstructed and they'd die. We took it so far as to call an emergency vet to get their advice. They said we could bring them in or wait it out, and we decided to take the latter, because we knew that dogs were known to eat some pretty funky stuff and be just fine.

We went to bed almost an hour later, upset and afraid that just as soon as our little baby was born one of our fur ones would be leaving us. Not so cool.

I'd finally managed to fall asleep around midnight or so, and wouldn't you know it that a mere hour (at most) later sweet little Livers was up and hungry. That's fine, I said. She's my sweetie and she's hungry. We'll be OK. She nursed happily, and when she finished I took her back to her room to rock her back to sleep. However, she had much different plans. She was absolutely wide awake and mad as a hornet. I rocked and rocked, sang and sang, walked and walked, jiggled and jiggled her seven pound butt up and down the hallway for two solid hours. The sound of her angry cries were about to drive me insane.

Looks can be very deceiving when they are peacefully sleeping.

I finally had had enough and went to rouse J for some help, and he was not.happy.at.all. He had work the next day and needed his sleep badly, so he was in no mood to walk the floors and let me know it. He gave up after five minutes and that was that. I went back to rocking and singing and dancing and jiggling the **cute little angel** for another thirty minute and finally had some success.

Two hours and thirty minutes after she woke she finally fell back asleep at 3:30 in the morning.

* * * * *

I know this is an old story. It's just one of those things that sticks out in my mind so blazingly that I had to write it down for posterity's sake. (It doesn't help that I'm starting digital scrapbooking--I think I'm in love :)--and need to write this stuff down.)

That night was truly a turning point for me as a parent, because it let me know in a bad way how difficult the road of parenthood could truly be. It taught me to surrender myself to the job of mother and to start learning to expect--and embrace--it's curve balls, because if I didn't I'd be down on my @ss so fast it'd make my head spin. And from that point on there have been very few "I want to hit the door" moments for me that stick out in my mind. Yes, there have most CERTAINLY been difficulties, but I've been left with the knowledge that they are there for a brief moment in time, and I always remember during those hardships the phrase that "this, too, shall pass."