Looking Back and Looking Forward

It seems seriously strange to me that a whole decade has gone by. A WHOLE DECADE. That's ten freakin' years. Of my life. Over. The passage of time is not what boggles my mind. What amazes me is what has happened in those ten years and how I've changed as a person. Luckily I think it's been for the better.

What has happened to me in 10 years?

• The worst relationship of my life
• The best relationship of my life
• Going to NYC
  
• Flying on a plane for the first time
  
• Graduating college
• Starting my first job
• Going to Hawaii and getting engaged while there
• Getting married
• Buying a house
• Becoming a pet owner
  
• Having my first baby
• Quitting my first job to stay home with my baby
• Getting back to God
• Revitalizing the artist within
• Realizing that my childhood dreams where actually not for me

That's the short list.

I think one of the best things about the past decade, though, has to be seeing myself change as a person. I started 2000 pessimistic, needy, and mentally self-abusive. I had low self-esteem, and as a result I made bad decisions for myself the baggage of which will probably stick with me on some level the rest of my life. I left 2009 stronger, more confident, and filled with much less self-doubt. Over the decade I started learning how to accept myself, flaws and all, for who I am, and I gained a better concept of who I am and what I stand for in life.

I know there is room for improvement. Any person who feels they are perfect right now is deluded, because you are always able to become a better you. My hope for the next ten years is to become even happier and more accepting of who I am, and to hopefully pass on a healthy self-image on to my daughter. I don't want her to walk through life depressed with herself because she can't live up to certain standards, hers or others. I want her to be happy with the girl God made her and to strive to be the best that she can be and to live her life for God (heck, I want that for myself, too). I want to spend the next ten years (and my lifetime) being someone that makes GOD proud, because His standards are the only ones that matter. And I want to spend the next ten years realizing that no matter what happens--good, bad, and everything in between--that I don't have to experience them alone but that He is always by my side celebrating my good times and helping me walk through the bad.