All Is Quiet

J has been on a business trip all week. I hate it when he goes on business trips. I get scared in my own house. Every little creak in the house makes me jump. I won't go downstairs at night because I'm afraid people are lurking outside waiting to break in. The dogs used to bring greater comfort, but now if they are barking at something it's probably just an argument over the food bowl.

I always have grand plans of all of the stuff I am going to accomplish when he's on trips. For instance, I said I was going to repaint the two ugly walls of his man cave to match the rest of the basement as a Valentine's gift to him. Does it count that I at least got it taped up??? I went to Michael's with Livers Monday to get beads to make some jewelry, and they are still sitting on a table in my office waiting to become something beautiful. I planned to scrapbook, to organize, to write, and to read, but all I did was watch TV. I forgot to anticipate how tired I'd be from acting as Livers' sole caregiver all day on top of babysitting another baby for two days in a row.

I did get to stretch out in the bed without a fight for covers or kicks to J's ribs in the middle of the night because he snores. However, there is comfort in the annoyance of his snores. It means that I'm safe and protected, and those middle of the night squeaks and creaks fade away like white noise. I did get a little alone time, but that just made the silence of the house once Livers is asleep that much more deafening. There was no clicking of J's keyboard in the kitchen, no calls of "I love you" to break the silence, no back and forth laughter over things we just read on our laptops that we found funny.

J will be home tomorrow afternoon, and even though having a few evenings of peace and quiet can be nice, I much prefer the low din of the evening hustle and bustle and the promise of comfort and protection lying next to me, quietly snoring just a rib poke away.