Friday, August 29, 2008
FFFF - A Culinary Milestone
This week we reached a major milestone in Livers' development: she has learned to balance a spoon well enough to get food into her mouth. To commemorate this blessed event I have posted pictures and a video of my little vampire (sorry, that's what she looks like eating her Spaghetti O's...kinda creepy) chowing down. Don't mind the mess!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
How to Ruin Mommy's Moment of Zen
Yesterday I did something very shocking. Brace yourself for this, because this is one of those once in a blue moon, the planets are aligned, gas is $1 a gallon moments that don't happen very often:
I worked out.
Even stranger, to relieve stress.
I know what you're thinking, "What is WRONG with you, Lindsay? I thought you hated the gym."
Yes, I do. I'm not a huge fan of working out, but the combination of being stuck inside while it rains in buckets (or is just humid and wet from the residual rain) and Livers being so demanding for my attention pushed me to the brink. I needed some sort of escape that was free and helpful, and I hate to admit this, but working out was it.
My husband has a membership to the gym at the university he works at, and I told him to make it a family plan so I could go if I wanted to swim or something (I love pools). Last night I had had one too many, "Hold Youuuuuu!"s from Livers, only to have her squirm out of my arms and cry once she actually was picked up, for my own good, so I told my husband that I wanted out of the house and to the gym. It was surprisingly glorious. I did the elliptical trainer, which is very low impact (I hate running), and the machines have TV's built in (what the heck??), so I watched that while listening to some Booty Bass on my iPhone (hip hop helps me get motivated to work out; I know, I'm weird). Afterwards I walked the track to cool down, and by the time I left I actually felt less stressed. I topped off the relaxation with a Strawberry-Banana smoothie from our local Sonic (only to have the bananas make my insides twist and turn later) and then came home.
I really should have just stayed away.
My husband was putting Livers to bed, so I went in to give her good night kisses, and that was all she wrote. In her almost 20-month-old mind she thought that if she let me go I'd leave her again, and she would.not.let.me.go. I figured I would have to rock her to sleep, which was fine, but she was so on edge with me leaving her so close to bedtime that every time I would try to put her in her crib she'd wake up and start wailing. After a good 40 minutes of rocking and attempting to put her down, I finally threw in the towel. I whispered to her that I loved her and that she needed to be a big girl and go to sleep, and I put her in her crib and left.
I knew that if I kept going back in her room to check on her she'd want me to hold her, and she'd get the message that if I cry long and hard enough that Mommy will get me. I had to be strong and endure the agony of hearing your little pumpkin wail for you at the top of her lungs.
And oh did she wail. And cry pitifully (and forcefully) for Mama. For 40 minutes.
I tried to busy myself. I cleaned up her toys from the den, finally took a shower from getting sweaty at the gym, and started finishing up the dishes from dinner. She finally fell asleep around 10:30, and I felt like such a horrible parent. Your poor child is worried sick that you're going to leave her, and you just let her cry for you for what seems like forever. I know that I did the right thing by Ferberizing her a little bit, but it doesn't make me feel any better. Luckily all seemed to be forgotten in the morning, and she's a happy (and well-rested) little lark now.
I hope to start working out a little bit more from now on. Not so much to lose weight as to get a little healthy, because let's face it, we all could use that, but mostly for stress relief, because admittedly I did feel much better after a little sweat and burn. We'll just have to move the workout time to well before (or well after) Livers bedtime, or all hell will break loose. And Mommy will lose it.
And that is how to ruin Mommy's Moment of Zen.
* * * *
P.S. On a Fay note, we had two, count 'em, TWO frickin' tornadoes come through our town yesterday. WTH? Luckily, as far as I know, no one was hurt (except for quite a few trees and a couple of roofs), but man, that was some craziness.
* * * *
ETA: It is now October 20th. Can you guess how many times I've been to the gym since this post?
That's right. Bagel.
I worked out.
Even stranger, to relieve stress.
I know what you're thinking, "What is WRONG with you, Lindsay? I thought you hated the gym."
Yes, I do. I'm not a huge fan of working out, but the combination of being stuck inside while it rains in buckets (or is just humid and wet from the residual rain) and Livers being so demanding for my attention pushed me to the brink. I needed some sort of escape that was free and helpful, and I hate to admit this, but working out was it.
My husband has a membership to the gym at the university he works at, and I told him to make it a family plan so I could go if I wanted to swim or something (I love pools). Last night I had had one too many, "Hold Youuuuuu!"s from Livers, only to have her squirm out of my arms and cry once she actually was picked up, for my own good, so I told my husband that I wanted out of the house and to the gym. It was surprisingly glorious. I did the elliptical trainer, which is very low impact (I hate running), and the machines have TV's built in (what the heck??), so I watched that while listening to some Booty Bass on my iPhone (hip hop helps me get motivated to work out; I know, I'm weird). Afterwards I walked the track to cool down, and by the time I left I actually felt less stressed. I topped off the relaxation with a Strawberry-Banana smoothie from our local Sonic (only to have the bananas make my insides twist and turn later) and then came home.
I really should have just stayed away.
My husband was putting Livers to bed, so I went in to give her good night kisses, and that was all she wrote. In her almost 20-month-old mind she thought that if she let me go I'd leave her again, and she would.not.let.me.go. I figured I would have to rock her to sleep, which was fine, but she was so on edge with me leaving her so close to bedtime that every time I would try to put her in her crib she'd wake up and start wailing. After a good 40 minutes of rocking and attempting to put her down, I finally threw in the towel. I whispered to her that I loved her and that she needed to be a big girl and go to sleep, and I put her in her crib and left.
I knew that if I kept going back in her room to check on her she'd want me to hold her, and she'd get the message that if I cry long and hard enough that Mommy will get me. I had to be strong and endure the agony of hearing your little pumpkin wail for you at the top of her lungs.
And oh did she wail. And cry pitifully (and forcefully) for Mama. For 40 minutes.
I tried to busy myself. I cleaned up her toys from the den, finally took a shower from getting sweaty at the gym, and started finishing up the dishes from dinner. She finally fell asleep around 10:30, and I felt like such a horrible parent. Your poor child is worried sick that you're going to leave her, and you just let her cry for you for what seems like forever. I know that I did the right thing by Ferberizing her a little bit, but it doesn't make me feel any better. Luckily all seemed to be forgotten in the morning, and she's a happy (and well-rested) little lark now.
I hope to start working out a little bit more from now on. Not so much to lose weight as to get a little healthy, because let's face it, we all could use that, but mostly for stress relief, because admittedly I did feel much better after a little sweat and burn. We'll just have to move the workout time to well before (or well after) Livers bedtime, or all hell will break loose. And Mommy will lose it.
And that is how to ruin Mommy's Moment of Zen.
* * * *
P.S. On a Fay note, we had two, count 'em, TWO frickin' tornadoes come through our town yesterday. WTH? Luckily, as far as I know, no one was hurt (except for quite a few trees and a couple of roofs), but man, that was some craziness.
* * * *
ETA: It is now October 20th. Can you guess how many times I've been to the gym since this post?
That's right. Bagel.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Fay, a Welcome Intruder
It's raining. Again.
Normally this would be cause for grumbling and complaining, but I must say that I'm very pleased to see the rain and equally excited that it's supposed to rain tomorrow and maybe even Thursday. Why the insanity? Because we are in the middle of a frickin' drought, that's why. I got a firsthand look at just how bad it is on Saturday when Livers and I went to the lake with some of our friends. The lake is some ridiculous number like 15 feet below normal, and you truly can see the damage the drought has done in the pictures I've posted below.
Even though the remnants of Tropical Storm Fay will end up leaving a good four or more inches over the next few days (more if we're lucky), this will probably be just a drop in the bucket of what we need. I'm sadly hoping that the new Hurricane Gustav will stop by (in a gentle, rain-producing manner) and pour some more rain on top of us in a few days. Just rain, no wind, hail, tornadoes, or lightning, and please do not take out my internet. You know how tempermental our DSL can be if a cloud rolls by.
Anyway, here are pictures of the lake (and a few of Livers getting her sand and lake on). Happy Tuesday!
Sadly, anywhere you see sand and rocks you're supposed to see water. Just to give you a little perspective.
This "cliff" is about 15-20 feet high, and under good lake conditions the water should be pretty far up this cliff.
All rocks (and beer glass, not pictured) should be covered with water.
The beach is COVERED with clams. Some of them are huge, roughly six to seven inches. I didn't know they could get that big. And as you can tell by the picture, Livers LOVED them. She got very upset that the halves wouldn't go back together.
Normally this would be cause for grumbling and complaining, but I must say that I'm very pleased to see the rain and equally excited that it's supposed to rain tomorrow and maybe even Thursday. Why the insanity? Because we are in the middle of a frickin' drought, that's why. I got a firsthand look at just how bad it is on Saturday when Livers and I went to the lake with some of our friends. The lake is some ridiculous number like 15 feet below normal, and you truly can see the damage the drought has done in the pictures I've posted below.
Even though the remnants of Tropical Storm Fay will end up leaving a good four or more inches over the next few days (more if we're lucky), this will probably be just a drop in the bucket of what we need. I'm sadly hoping that the new Hurricane Gustav will stop by (in a gentle, rain-producing manner) and pour some more rain on top of us in a few days. Just rain, no wind, hail, tornadoes, or lightning, and please do not take out my internet. You know how tempermental our DSL can be if a cloud rolls by.
Anyway, here are pictures of the lake (and a few of Livers getting her sand and lake on). Happy Tuesday!
Sadly, anywhere you see sand and rocks you're supposed to see water. Just to give you a little perspective.
This "cliff" is about 15-20 feet high, and under good lake conditions the water should be pretty far up this cliff.
All rocks (and beer glass, not pictured) should be covered with water.
The beach is COVERED with clams. Some of them are huge, roughly six to seven inches. I didn't know they could get that big. And as you can tell by the picture, Livers LOVED them. She got very upset that the halves wouldn't go back together.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Our Little Chatty Cathy
Sorry that I have been such a terrible blogger! My readership has probably dropped to one person (Hi, Sweets!) because of it. I hope this can be amended. Since the Nexium has been working its magic I've been feeling much better, and combined with the end of the Olympics I should be able to return to more regular blogging. Let's get right to it...
In a previous post I mentioned that Livers has become quite a talker. I'm getting to the point where it's becoming difficult to keep track of just what she can say, because it's many a new thing everyday. For instance, in the past couple of days she has really started to pick up on phrases, and she even made a primitive sentence while hanging out with her grandpa. They were picking up pinecones in the yard, and she stopped, looked at him, and said, "Bucket, get it."
She has gotten very clingy with me, and when I leave the room she starts to wail, climb the gate, and say, "Hold you!" (translation, hold me).
I've also noticed her starting adjective/noun combinations, which makes figuring out what she's saying MUCH easier. She pretty much knows her colors, and she loves to point them out to you when we're walking/driving around. Going to the mailbox this afternoon I went to get my shoes, and she looks at the closet and goes, "red shoes?", referring to my red Crocs, which are her favorites. I must say, it can be really nice to have someone to talk to around here, especially now that they are able to talk back. Just as long as she doesn't start sassing we'll be fine :)
The following video is in reference to my previous post. I mentioned that one of the absolute CUTEST things she says is "ravioli", which ends up sounding like "ra-da-do-li". Well, here is my little Motor Mouth in all her cutie glory. I hope you enjoy! :)
Oh, and she's not dropping the f-bomb. She loves it when we flip her, and she's requesting that. I'm not THAT parent.
And she just learned the other day that when you blow on a ball it sounds like a fart (or fufy, as we call it. 19-month-olds don't need to say fart.) As you can tell, she is VERY amused with herself (as were we) ;)
In a previous post I mentioned that Livers has become quite a talker. I'm getting to the point where it's becoming difficult to keep track of just what she can say, because it's many a new thing everyday. For instance, in the past couple of days she has really started to pick up on phrases, and she even made a primitive sentence while hanging out with her grandpa. They were picking up pinecones in the yard, and she stopped, looked at him, and said, "Bucket, get it."
She has gotten very clingy with me, and when I leave the room she starts to wail, climb the gate, and say, "Hold you!" (translation, hold me).
I've also noticed her starting adjective/noun combinations, which makes figuring out what she's saying MUCH easier. She pretty much knows her colors, and she loves to point them out to you when we're walking/driving around. Going to the mailbox this afternoon I went to get my shoes, and she looks at the closet and goes, "red shoes?", referring to my red Crocs, which are her favorites. I must say, it can be really nice to have someone to talk to around here, especially now that they are able to talk back. Just as long as she doesn't start sassing we'll be fine :)
The following video is in reference to my previous post. I mentioned that one of the absolute CUTEST things she says is "ravioli", which ends up sounding like "ra-da-do-li". Well, here is my little Motor Mouth in all her cutie glory. I hope you enjoy! :)
Oh, and she's not dropping the f-bomb. She loves it when we flip her, and she's requesting that. I'm not THAT parent.
And she just learned the other day that when you blow on a ball it sounds like a fart (or fufy, as we call it. 19-month-olds don't need to say fart.) As you can tell, she is VERY amused with herself (as were we) ;)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
No Title Today, Just a Little Update
Small life update before I go and watch reruns of LOST (I am missing this show. Late January/early February can't get here soon enough!):
Today was the first good stomach day that I've had in a solid week (and maybe a half). Perhaps the Nexium is kicking into gear and healing whatever damage has been done. I sure hope so, because man it feels good to eat!
However, I've traded stomach pains with woman pains. At least I know those will leave in a couple of days.
My creative mind has so many projects it would like to work on it's not even funny. I hope I'll soon be able to motivate myself to actually doing them. This might be possible, since the Olympics are in the boring Track and Field stage (I don't love all of it, Maternal Mirth, just the ones where people flip around and swim) and my stomach *might* be cooperating. I'll post pictures if I actually make something.
Livers is growing like a little weed and talking up a storm. She'll be twenty months soon, and I can't believe it's going by so fast! Every day it's a new word (or three), and she's definitely starting to speak in a few phrases. Some of her favorites are "oopsie daisy" and "get it" (when she's lost something or can't reach something she's dropped). It's fun to listen to her say some words, because being a newbie to this talking thing they don't always sound so great. Like when she says ravioli, it sounds like "ra-da-do-li", and God bless her it's hard to correct when she sounds so adorable. We also have to be VERY careful what we say, because she's big into the parroting phase. It's great to have someone to "talk" to, because you can carry on a "decent" conversation with her at times. Topics are kind of limited to dolls, colors, Sesame Street, songs she likes, and other favorite things.
Little Livers growing up is at times making me want another child. I'm not quite there yet, so to take the edge off (and make a little cash in the process) I'm going to be watching a neighbor's three-month-old son once a week or so for a few hours. She's a baby nurse at a local hospital and needs to catch up on her Zzz's (since she works a few 12-hour shifts) once a week, and I thought it would be good practice at what two kids might be like and a way to get my baby fix without getting preggo and having to keep the kid after 9 months. I'll let you know how it goes :)
I'm off to get LOST. Don't come looking ;)
Today was the first good stomach day that I've had in a solid week (and maybe a half). Perhaps the Nexium is kicking into gear and healing whatever damage has been done. I sure hope so, because man it feels good to eat!
However, I've traded stomach pains with woman pains. At least I know those will leave in a couple of days.
My creative mind has so many projects it would like to work on it's not even funny. I hope I'll soon be able to motivate myself to actually doing them. This might be possible, since the Olympics are in the boring Track and Field stage (I don't love all of it, Maternal Mirth, just the ones where people flip around and swim) and my stomach *might* be cooperating. I'll post pictures if I actually make something.
Livers is growing like a little weed and talking up a storm. She'll be twenty months soon, and I can't believe it's going by so fast! Every day it's a new word (or three), and she's definitely starting to speak in a few phrases. Some of her favorites are "oopsie daisy" and "get it" (when she's lost something or can't reach something she's dropped). It's fun to listen to her say some words, because being a newbie to this talking thing they don't always sound so great. Like when she says ravioli, it sounds like "ra-da-do-li", and God bless her it's hard to correct when she sounds so adorable. We also have to be VERY careful what we say, because she's big into the parroting phase. It's great to have someone to "talk" to, because you can carry on a "decent" conversation with her at times. Topics are kind of limited to dolls, colors, Sesame Street, songs she likes, and other favorite things.
Little Livers growing up is at times making me want another child. I'm not quite there yet, so to take the edge off (and make a little cash in the process) I'm going to be watching a neighbor's three-month-old son once a week or so for a few hours. She's a baby nurse at a local hospital and needs to catch up on her Zzz's (since she works a few 12-hour shifts) once a week, and I thought it would be good practice at what two kids might be like and a way to get my baby fix without getting preggo and having to keep the kid after 9 months. I'll let you know how it goes :)
I'm off to get LOST. Don't come looking ;)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A Perfect Storm for Blog Absence
What do you get when you combine crazy busyness, the Olympics, and over a week of an unidentified stomach ailment?
A week or more without a substantial blog piece, that's what.
Last week was "uncharacteristically" busy for me. I usually don't have much more going on outside of the house than the occasional grocery trip, but last week was nuts. I had two doctor's appointments in a town forty-five minutes away--one was a check-up for me and the other was Livers' belated 18-month appointment--and when you go to this town, which has the most decent mall for quite some way, you try to make the most of the gas money and get all of your shopping needs taken care of. I love to shop every once in awhile, but it really can take it out of a girl!
It was also my birthday week, which was great but exhausting when all was said and done. My mom watched Livers so I could go to a local jewelry-making store to make some jewelry. It was glorious and has inspired me to start making some myself, especially when I realized just how easy it is. I'm sure that the shop owner thought I was a big weirdo, because being the huge rainbow lover that I am I just HAD to make some rainbow jewelry. I thought it was pretty :)
In addition to this I got to go birthday shopping after the aforementioned doctor's appointment. I am a HUGE purse person. Before Livers and when I worked, I bought them every chance I got. I was looking for the Holy Grail of purses--the perfect purse--which meant I had to go through a whole lot of purses in my search. (I've still yet to find it.) Now that I don't work I only buy purses twice a year--for Christmas and for my birthday--so in the spirit of my birthday I went shopping for another one. I might try my hand at making my own soon, because I will have a better chance of getting the style I like.
(For you, Tiaras and Tantrums: This is my newest. I am a HUGE fan of Fossil purses, particularly black leather ones. Almost all of my purses are black leather.)
The last part of my birthday celebration was getting to go out to an adult dinner on Friday. My parents agreed to watch Livers, which was a delightful surprise (and if you're reading this, Mom, a thousand times thanks!). We ate at our local Beef O'Brady's, which was OK, but slow. I ended up filling up on appetizers and not having enough room for dinner. Someone in the group must have told them it was my birthday, because they gave me a piece of free cake (very yummy and rich). We then went downtown for drinks. I must be getting old or something, because the usual party girl that likes to come out when given the chance was asleep. I could have happily gone home at ten when the other couples with children had to leave. I tried to hold out and liven up, but I never did. I also started to lose my voice (my throat had been hurting for awhile), which made it more difficult. It's probably for the better that I had a tame birthday, because I did not want to spend the rest of the weekend suffering.
Now for the other two things that have been preventing me from being a good blogger. Next up, the Olympics. I have been DIGGING it hardcore. I don't even think I watched the Athens and Sydney Olympics, but I have more than made up for it this time. I've really enjoyed gymnastics and Phelps race for 8 golds, and I think I'm going to go through some sort of withdrawal once it is all said and done.
Finally the most annoying thing keeping me from blogging (and quite frankly from doing anything other than the bare minimum for the day): my stomach. I don't know WHAT the deal is, but something is going on in my stomach. Every single time I've eaten (with few exceptions) for the past week I have gotten sick at my stomach. Not nausea, not intestinal, just a deep-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach pain. Tums, Pepto, and Pepcid don't do a think to take the edge off, and it is becoming very frustrating. Even as we speak my meager breakfast of a single Pop Tart and a glass of Ovaltine milk are making me ill. I have the unfortunate feeling that I might have an ulcer, but otherwise I have no clue what's up (or rather down). I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon to hopefully diagnose the problem, so I pray I get some answers because it's getting ridiculous.
I hope this makes up for some of my absence. Maybe I'll start feeling better soon and will be able to return to substantial blogging. Crossing my fingers here!
Edited to add: The doctor believes I have an ulcer as well. She prescribed a round of Nexium. She said it should do the trick, but if it does not or gets worse we'll have to do a round of tests, which might include a giant flexible tube down my throat. Endoscopes. Joy. Keep crossing those fingers!
A week or more without a substantial blog piece, that's what.
Last week was "uncharacteristically" busy for me. I usually don't have much more going on outside of the house than the occasional grocery trip, but last week was nuts. I had two doctor's appointments in a town forty-five minutes away--one was a check-up for me and the other was Livers' belated 18-month appointment--and when you go to this town, which has the most decent mall for quite some way, you try to make the most of the gas money and get all of your shopping needs taken care of. I love to shop every once in awhile, but it really can take it out of a girl!
It was also my birthday week, which was great but exhausting when all was said and done. My mom watched Livers so I could go to a local jewelry-making store to make some jewelry. It was glorious and has inspired me to start making some myself, especially when I realized just how easy it is. I'm sure that the shop owner thought I was a big weirdo, because being the huge rainbow lover that I am I just HAD to make some rainbow jewelry. I thought it was pretty :)
In addition to this I got to go birthday shopping after the aforementioned doctor's appointment. I am a HUGE purse person. Before Livers and when I worked, I bought them every chance I got. I was looking for the Holy Grail of purses--the perfect purse--which meant I had to go through a whole lot of purses in my search. (I've still yet to find it.) Now that I don't work I only buy purses twice a year--for Christmas and for my birthday--so in the spirit of my birthday I went shopping for another one. I might try my hand at making my own soon, because I will have a better chance of getting the style I like.
(For you, Tiaras and Tantrums: This is my newest. I am a HUGE fan of Fossil purses, particularly black leather ones. Almost all of my purses are black leather.)
The last part of my birthday celebration was getting to go out to an adult dinner on Friday. My parents agreed to watch Livers, which was a delightful surprise (and if you're reading this, Mom, a thousand times thanks!). We ate at our local Beef O'Brady's, which was OK, but slow. I ended up filling up on appetizers and not having enough room for dinner. Someone in the group must have told them it was my birthday, because they gave me a piece of free cake (very yummy and rich). We then went downtown for drinks. I must be getting old or something, because the usual party girl that likes to come out when given the chance was asleep. I could have happily gone home at ten when the other couples with children had to leave. I tried to hold out and liven up, but I never did. I also started to lose my voice (my throat had been hurting for awhile), which made it more difficult. It's probably for the better that I had a tame birthday, because I did not want to spend the rest of the weekend suffering.
Now for the other two things that have been preventing me from being a good blogger. Next up, the Olympics. I have been DIGGING it hardcore. I don't even think I watched the Athens and Sydney Olympics, but I have more than made up for it this time. I've really enjoyed gymnastics and Phelps race for 8 golds, and I think I'm going to go through some sort of withdrawal once it is all said and done.
Finally the most annoying thing keeping me from blogging (and quite frankly from doing anything other than the bare minimum for the day): my stomach. I don't know WHAT the deal is, but something is going on in my stomach. Every single time I've eaten (with few exceptions) for the past week I have gotten sick at my stomach. Not nausea, not intestinal, just a deep-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach pain. Tums, Pepto, and Pepcid don't do a think to take the edge off, and it is becoming very frustrating. Even as we speak my meager breakfast of a single Pop Tart and a glass of Ovaltine milk are making me ill. I have the unfortunate feeling that I might have an ulcer, but otherwise I have no clue what's up (or rather down). I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon to hopefully diagnose the problem, so I pray I get some answers because it's getting ridiculous.
I hope this makes up for some of my absence. Maybe I'll start feeling better soon and will be able to return to substantial blogging. Crossing my fingers here!
Edited to add: The doctor believes I have an ulcer as well. She prescribed a round of Nexium. She said it should do the trick, but if it does not or gets worse we'll have to do a round of tests, which might include a giant flexible tube down my throat. Endoscopes. Joy. Keep crossing those fingers!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Sunday Celebrity Synopsis - Installment 3
Good morning to the two fans I have left since I've been such an absentee blogger. I hope you are having a fabulous Sunday. I am going to get right to it with my gossip news, so here we go.
- Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer split. Can I get a "who cares?" This relationship lasted approximately 4 months longer than I expected it to. She's a pushing-40 (not that there's anything wrong with that), once divorced desperate woman dumb enough to try and have a relationship with one of music's biggest "playas" (not players, though I do like some Mayer music now and then). Once you start getting a little older you should be a little more serious (and wiser) in who you chose to date, and she did not make the mark at all. Aniston, will you ever learn?
- Tori Spelling's nursery for her daughter revealed. If I were that baby, I'd have chronic stomach problems. Pepto Bismol pink. Seriously? There are hundreds of designers in L.A. who would have been more than happy to accept your cash and do that room right. Next time, use some of the little inheritance you have left and let the professionals do the dirty work, m-kay?
- John Edwards admits adultery. What a scum bucket! I know he doesn't fit into my usual category of "celebrity", but I feel I must comment. Number 1, you are one of history's biggest a-holes if you're going to cheat on your cancer-stricken wife. Number 2, wifey, you're an idiot NOT to throw his $400 haircut @ss out on the street, presidency or no presidency. And number 3, aren't you supposed to trade UP when you cheat? I thought that was the rule...
- Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush talk marriage. Number 1, I could care less. Number 2, that marriage would be illegal, because with a booty that big he'd be marrying two.
- Felicity Huffman tried on Madonna's thong in the 80's, and it didn't fit. OK, now this is just buck nasty. Girl, you NEVER try on other people's underwear, and especially not a THONG! Even more than that, especially not MADONNA CIRCA 1988's THONG. There's no telling what diseases you probably picked up. I shudder at the thoughts of it.
- Busy Phillips has a baby girl, names her "Birdie". Add that poor kid to the list of celebru-spawn getting a playground beat down. Are you trying to get some sort of retribution for what your parents named you? If so, that's just mean.
- Jennifer Love Hewitt loses 18 lbs in 10 weeks. This just pisses me off. You were a role model for normal looking women everywhere by embracing your natural curves. Then you just HAD to submit to Hollywood pressure and get thin. I wouldn't have so much of a problem if you'd lost the weight in 6 months or a year, because that shows you want to get healthy. But 10 weeks? You let them get in your head, and you are now out of my heart.
- 14-year old Ali Lohan (Lindsay's little sis) reportedly gets a boob job. La Lohan, I don't care how pissed you are over these "lies" that people are spreading about your sissy, but I've gone through puberty, and I'm pretty sure you don't go up about 3 cup sizes over a summer without a little slice and dice. Correct me if I'm wrong, ladies. And if she didn't and that IS a padded bra, tell me where you bought it, because sista needs a lift.
- Diddy says he could be a "sex Olympian". Um, ewwwww? That's one gold medal I'm not helping you win, because you are nasty and ridiculously self-absorbed.
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