The End of Lent - How It Was and What I Learned

Wow. It's been almost two months, TWO MONTHS since I last wrote. It seems like forever but at the same time not all that long ago. I've been contemplating what exactly to write for my first post-Lenten post and wish that I had something monumental and inspiring to share, but I don't. I think I will begin with a "how was Lent and what did I learn" discussion.

Lent for me was a fairly peaceful time this year. I wouldn't call it a life changing spiritual time, but I would say that as a whole I felt a general spiritual peace. Just as with most things that go on in my life I think I could have put in more effort on my part--more prayer, more reading of my Bible, more time going to church--but I do feel more nourished spiritually than if I hadn't put any effort in at all.

I had a goal for myself to read all of the Gospel of Matthew, and I nearly did. I have just two chapters left and I will be able to successfully say that I've read 1/4th of the Gospels. Before Lent I realized that it would be very important as a Christian to have a greater knowledge of just what God says in the Bible, and I felt that at the very least I should read the Gospels. I figured that Matthew was an excellent place to start. I've also always wanted to read John and Acts and never have sat down and read them, so I will soon be starting on these as well. I'd love to also start tackling the Old Testament as well. When I was younger I started reading at the beginning and got stuck when I was somewhere around Deutoronomy. I love you, Lord, but no offense: the 613 Laws can get a little boring sometimes. I think I'll maybe reread Genesis and Exodus and then start in with Joshua and move on through. The history of the Jews fascinates me, and what better place to get their story than here.

As said earlier, I wouldn't call Lent a "life changing" time for me. I had no major spiritual awakenings or enlightenment per se. However, I can say that there were times that in small ways I could feel the hand of God in my life. It would be in simple but very helpful ways such as Him providing me with patience on a day that I felt might be very trying or giving me a calm mind when Livers was throwing a tantrum or behaving in a way that could lend itself to me losing my temper and reacting rather than helping her. I could feel and see his blessings on my family as he put food on our table, a roof over our head, the comforts of home, and in the new things that my daughter is learning. I think sometimes people only notice God in the large ways and as a result get disappointed because things don't happen when or as often as they would like. If we would stop and truly notice everything going on in our lives and around us, from the grandest to the most minute, then we truly would see the hand of God in our daily lives. I think the "stop and smell the roses" mentality is very important when it comes to God in our lives.

So, what did I learn during this Lenten season? I learned that even though I felt I did "OK" on my journey and my attempt to better my relationship with God, I could most certainly improve things. I think that if I put as much effort into my relationship with God as I did with other things in my life (I wouldn't go so far as to say friends, because I'm a bit of a hermit sometimes) then we could be doing much better together. I would like a stronger relationship but need to pray for the strength to go that extra mile. I know He's there if I were to just reach out. I just need to do that.

I also have learned that I actually WANT to start reading the Bible. I've often seen it as a chore that a Christian needs to cross off of their list, and as a result I would only periodically (and I do mean periodically) read a chapter (or verse) or two and then put it down for a long while. I'm reaching a point where I want that knowledge more and more rather than feel I must begrudgingly force it on myself. And I think that it's beautiful that I'm here. I pray it keeps up.

I also learned that it's very important to take stock of the small ways that God is in your day and makes it beautiful, and that I need to find something to be thankful for every day. There have been some days that I have had to seriously wrack my brain to find something, because it's just been "that" kind of day, but I still would try, because when I step back and think about it the beauty and blessings of God are everywhere, from the rain you might find annoying but that provides you with water to drink and keep clean (very important for a region like mine where drought has been prevalent) to the screaming, tantruming child who makes you forget everything with a snuggle at bedtime and a cry for the comfort only you can provide.

My hope and prayer is that I don't let these lessons leave me like I often let them. I want the small bit of spiritual momentum that I have in me right now to grow into something more beautiful and lasting, and I pray that it does.

This Lenten Season

Four years ago this Easter I officially became a Catholic. My husband was raised one, and it was very important to me that we share the same religion and ultimately raise our children together in it. When I converted (from being a denomination-less Christian) I took on many of the same traditions, including the sacrificing of something for Lent. The first year I gave up sweet tea. Might not seem like a big deal to some, but I'm a Southerner who drinks it at every chance. The next year I gave up frivolous spending. I can at least say I tried there. I don't remember what I gave up the third year. Livers had only recently been born, so I was still in a new Mommy idiot stupor. Last year I gave up reading celebrity gossip. That was HUGE for me, especially since the Oscars were smack in the middle of Lent.

This year I think I'm going to give up writing in my blog for the next 40 days. To some of you that might sound like crazy talk, but I think for many reasons this is the best. First of all, I've just not been feeling it for awhile. What started as writer's block has turned into writer's disinterest. Second, by making it "forbidden fruit" for the next 40 days I hope to spurn the creative juices in my mind again and come back fresher and happier with the process. I already felt a bit of this happening when Livers woke up from her nap with ridiculously crazy hair and the first thing I thought was, "I have to take a picture of this (to put on my blog)." Third I hope that the time away will help me to write more in my journal, which might in turn spill over to other avenues in April. Finally, I hope that by giving this up I will be able to spend more time with God. I've been a Christian most of my life, but I can say I do not know nearly enough about my God and what He says, so I hope to spend this time reading about the God I love so that I can know more for myself and to be able to in turn talk about Him to others.

My second Lent I was told of a so-called "loophole" that some Catholics use during Lent that allows them to partake in what they've given up on Sundays. A friend who was beginning his own conversion said that since Sundays are Holy Days they are exempt from fasting status. I used that to my advantages the past few years, but this year I am not going to do that. Along with fish on Fridays we're going to be a little more devout with our practices and try to go the WHOLE 40 days. My sincere hope is that this really is difficult for me, because it will tell me that what I've given up was a true sacrifice, and that's what I'm going for.

I don't want to lose the few blog friends that I have left over the next few weeks, so I will definitely be visiting your blogs and commenting when I can. I've enjoyed meeting all of you, and I don't want to give up on the friendships that I've started to create. You just will have to do without your bi-weekly piece of substandard writing from yours truly.

Until sometime after April 12th!

Writer's Workshop - Please Excuse the Mess

2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today.

This prompt has reminded me, yet again, why I hate having my picture taken....



It took over a dozen tries to get a picture I actually liked. Seriously. My nose is skinny and crooked, forcing me to avoid head-on shots. My lips are lop-sided, too, so I have to take side shots for that reason as well. I have lots of freckles, which can be pretty if there's no flash. And Livers had just jerked my ponytail out and I had sloppily redone it. Oh, and I'm really really white no matter the season, so using too much flash makes me look like a ghost. (OK, enough self-derision.)

Why the unkempt, unshowered appearance at 1:20 PM? It's not complete laziness, I swear. I've been taking the bit of me-time Livers will give me this morning, which I hadn't been able to do at all the past couple of days. Poor Livers has been sick with some sort of unknown bug, and all we've been doing is having massive cuddle fests (which, if you know her, doesn't happen often at all), watching the Wiggles, and listening to music whilst sitting in my lap at the computer. She's a definite Mama's girl, and her desire to have me near and dear has been in overdrive the past couple as her tiny body has been ravaged by fevers. (No complaints, I just wish she didn't have to be sick to want to cuddle a whole lot.)


Happily this morning I was created by calls of, "Mama, where are you Mamaaaaaaaaaaa?" rather than tears, which meant that whatever had gotten into her system was working its way out. This brought great relief, because no one likes to see their children suffer. Her appetite isn't quite back to what it was, but she's active, running around again, and playing independently for stretches at a time, which is a far cry from the sluggishness and clinginess of Tuesday and Wednesday.

As to why I've YET to shower, I've been doing my Thursday ritual of gobbling up all information, theories, blog posts, and opinions about last night's super-awesome episode of LOST, and I will be doing this well into the weekend. Yes, I'm a nerd. No, I do not care. I dealt with that years ago. :)

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3.) I just asked Pat to help me with a writing prompt so here's his: "What do you think about the NBA All Star game"...blech.

I think there are lots better things in life to do than watch a bunch of overgrown, overpaid adolescents throwing a ball around for even more money.

Sorry, Pat.

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5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.

As for how nice I could be when I was growing up....

My little brother was running around the house riding a broomstick like a horse, and I decided it would be loads of fun to jerk the stick up when he stopped. Neither he nor his nuts appreciated it very much. I got my hands popped with a spatula as punishment.

"Not Me!" Monday

I've seen a lot of people participate in this recently, and I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon this week.



Enjoy my inaugural "Not Me!" Monday!

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I did NOT let a Wiggles DVD play two times in a row so I could bum around on my computer reading blogs and surfing Flickr.

I did NOT eat my strawberry shortcake from lunch on Friday in the car hiding it from my daughter.

I did NOT tell my daughter she could have a cookie if she ate a piece of broccoli.

I did NOT eat 4 of said cookies myself.

I did NOT just sit down at this computer to look something up only to completely forget why.

I did NOT burst into Livers room and yell, "Sit down, shut up, and go to sleep!" after she had been jokingly yelling, "Mama, where are you Mamaaaaa!" for twenty-five minutes during nap.

Week in Review and a Few Musings for You

Without further adieu :)

1. Valentine's Day has come and gone for the majority of the world. We'll celebrate ours next weekend. It'll be a lot more peaceful for us and hopefully less crowded.
2. Rather than be a slave to Hallmark (for all of my Valentine's needs), I decided to try and make some of my cards this year. I used my sewing machine to stitch some simple zig zags and lines and stamped some lettering using craft paint. It turned out pretty good, and hopefully I can improve on my skills making J his card for our belated Valentine's date.
3. Am I a bad mom for not doing anything over the top for Livers for Valentine's? I did make some ready-made cookies tonight, but I didn't get any stuffed animals or cards. She probably wouldn't know any different this year anyway...
   
4. I finally got around to making some jewelry. I'd seen a few things on Etsy that I liked that looked easy enough to make myself, and I am now the proud owner of three new necklaces.
   
5. I think I'm at my happiest when I'm productive and creative. It gives me such great joy to be able to make things for myself and pride when they end up looking half decent.
6. I bought some more fabric for a quilt I hope to start by year's end. I love just looking at the pile sitting nicely stacked on my bookshelf. It kind of pains me to have to cut into it someday.
7. I am totally, and I mean TOTALLY addicted to LOST. We're only five episodes into the fifth season, and it makes me depressed knowing that there's only twelve episodes left.
8. I got to watch my favorite movie of all time last night (The English Patient) for the first time in eight years. I had really wanted to watch it, partly to re-evaluate its place as numero uno on my list, and I was happy to see it still deserves its place. J watched it for the first time and actually liked it. I first saw it when I was 15, and it was a very mature movie for someone of that age, and I found it interesting to see it again with older eyes.
9. Livers is such a Mama's girl, and I.love.it! At church today she went to nursery and was fine for a few minutes but I could hear her start to wail. I'm assuming she realized that I was gone, and she really wanted me back. I went and got her when I could tell the tears weren't subsiding, and she was good as gold cuddling in my lap with me during Mass service. Usually she's too all over the place to take out of the Cry Room, so I was eating the cuddles up.
10. I love me some Flickr. I've wasted quite a lot of time browsing around, adding pictures to my favorites this weekend.
11. I'm on pace with actually following through with one of my New Year's resolutions. My goal is to read 6 books this year, which is six times as many as I read last year. I'm almost finished with Glimpses of Heaven, a book by a former hospice nurse who recounts the experiences of some of her family and patients as they are dying. It sounds like it would be depressing, but it's not.
12. At first I was bothered by my lack of blog attention, but that means I don't have any drama going on in my life, and that's great.

First Post Friday

Deb over at Dirty Socks N Pizza is having a fun little get together at her blog today: First Post Friday. She wants to get to know her bloggy friends better, so she wants her friends to repost their first post so she can start at the beginning and get to know them better.

Quite frankly, my first post sucked. Actually, my first ten or so were kind of random and few and far between. I know that this is not my FIRST post, but I think that this is the post where I really started blogging for real. It's a bit long, but it actually gets very much to the heart of me. I would be wise to start posting more of this kind of thing, because I've been hearing the crickets chirping thanks to my dry spell.

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Want to get to know Deb and friends better? Then go here now! :) Happy Friday!

Tuesday Tribute - FOX 'n POOPS

Thank you, FOX, for taking a little sparkle out of my evening last night. J and I were all geared up after a long, stressful day between the two of us to just veg out in front of the TV and watch a new House only to find there wasn't one recorded. Please let a sister know about these things before taking away her fun for the evening so she can be prepared with a box of Oreos and a gallon of milk.

I heart you, FOX! Now please go cancel American Idol so the world will be a better place for us all!!!!

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Also, thank you, bowels of Livers, for starting ANOTHER day off with poop for me. I just LOVE having my nostrils greeted by your putrid glory and not realizing it was all over your back until I accidentally touched it. You KNOW Mama doesn't drink coffee. Or liquor.

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P.S. Mom, I know you'll read this. I'm not in a bad mood, I swear. I just like to watch House and not deal with poop. :)

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Today's opportunity for a guilt-free rant is brought to you by:


Yet Another Jay and Deb Production.

Thanks Deb and Jeff!