Today was one of those days.
Livers has me so frustrated that I don't have enough tears to cry. I will say she is a wonderful little girl. She's got loads of personality, is smart as a whip, loves to sing, and is getting to that stage where she likes to throw out the affection like candy at a parade. I love the girl to pieces, so much that it hurts sometimes.
However, her seeming inability to listen to a SINGLE word I have to say angers me to no end. She will not stay out of the Christmas tree and its ornaments. I can't tell you how many times I've told her TODAY to leave the Velcro baby gate at the top of the stairs alone and stop trying to go to Daddy's man cave. (Velcro baby gates, you say? Yeah, someone was stupid enough to manufacture them and someone else was stupid enough to buy them.) I swear I spend 90% of my conversational time with her saying, "No!", "Stop!", "That's dangerous!", "Get out of the Christmas tree!", "That's a no-no!", "We're not going downstairs!", and numerous expletives (in my head only).
Even worse....
Yesterday she learned how to climb out of her crib.
I think I can tolerate the not listening, but the not listening on top of being an escapee is just too much. SO FAR she has not gotten out at night, but I felt dern near suicidal at naptime today. It was one of those times when she would fall asleep in my arms while I was rocking her but as soon as her head hits the crib she wakes up. (What is she, three weeks old??? Seriously...) Whenever we have those kinds of naps I know the jig is up. I tried for over an hour and a half to get her to take a nap with no success. I tried to let her just cry it out, but she broke out of her crib TWICE and came to look for me.
I'm the type of person that has to have a nap. Some people enjoy them when they get them and others can do without, but I have to have a battery recharge in the middle of the day or I'm as cranky as a two-year-old (named Livers) without it.
Because of the lack of nap, prison breaking, and general pattern of ignorance on Livers' part, I was very short tempered this afternoon and tonight. I'm a loud person and a bit of a yeller by nature, but today was just awful. I truly feel like THE WORST mother in the world. I was seeing red much of the evening, and it was like an out of body experience that I wish I could've jerked myself away from. I could see myself losing my temper with her and yelling and setting ever so the bad example, but my exhaustion and extreme frustration got out of control. I feel so horrible I've literally been in tears tonight.
I need all the prayers that you can send this way to help me, because I do not want to be one of those mothers without patience. I want to be kind and loving (which I am, I promise) and someone that Livers can look up to. I do not want her to see me as a hateful beast. I understand that being stern is part of being a parent, and I know that there are very few parents in the world who can honestly say that they've never lost their temper with a disobedient child, but I do not want this to become the norm.
So how do you deal with the frustration of a child barrelling towards the terrible twos (or threes, fours, teenage years)? Am I a horrible parent or does this happen to you, too?
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8 comments:
Honey, we are all one of those parents that looses their patients. Believe me, this is only the start and it is ok to be that parent.
The girls were driving me crazy yesterday, I was tired and didn't want to deal with them. I told them that I was going to turn in my mom and wife card and I was leaving the country.
I asked my daughter if that was ok with her and she said, "Sure, as long as you come back."
ah... frustration... the universal language of parenting. i remember those early years SO well. there were a couple of Christmases that weren't even fun because i was too busy trying to keep the boy from electrocuting himself/pulling down the tree/falling off the balcony of our highrise. it IS hard, and i don't see how some people take it all in stride, because it really isn't so much anger as it is fear.
try not to be too hard on yourself. with someone as energetic and smart as miss livers, it may not get easier for a while, but it does. but then the head games start. but those are a BIT easier to take knowing they won't run out in the street and get hit by a car (hopefully).
You're not a horrible parent. I went through the same thing when my always lovable babies morphed into frequently frustrating toddlers with minds of their own. Just remember the importance of stepping out of the room and taking a deep breath occasionally.
I once screamed, "Shut UP!" at my two-year-old and then stood there in horrified silence listening to my voice ring in the air. It's so easy to reach that breaking point.
Take time out for yourself, and remember - you're not dealing with a rational little person. A two-year-old would kill you for a cookie, if they could (some comedian said that once, and it's soo true).
Hi Lindsay
You are just normal. Do not worry about it. My daughter is 12 and still gets me frustrated all the time. The main thing is getting up in a morning. When she was 2 she hardly ever slept and now she is 12it's almost impossible to get her up. Sometimes I feel like a permanently nagging Mom!
I am thinking of you because I have been 'there' myself.
Lindsay
I am so glad I will have this post to come to next year.. AAHHHHHHHHH!!!
my cousin put a gate up at her daughters door and told her that nap time is quiet time and she had to stay in there for the amount of time she was told. Maybe this is the time that your both being tested on when the crib goes away and the big girl bed comes out...
stop flipping me the bird...
Oh girl, I SO know what you mean!!! I was just telling Brian last night that I needed a vacation...he says yea, i would like for all of us (the WHOLE family) to go back the beach again like we did last year - I told him no, I meant a vacation ALONE! Just me! Since I deal with the kids mostly he doesn't have the insanity level that I hit at times!!!
Sorry she is climbing out of the crib. I have to say that Avery has not gone through that. However I know it's crossed his mind because when he is in there and really upset, when i go to check on him he sometimes has one leg hiked up -
But, yes I do know what you are going through - hope it gets better for you soon!!!
Are you kdding? I have THREE kids that try my patience every single day. OK, the baby is pretty god and I never mad at him, but the 2.5 yr old and 5 yr old? You betcha. I have had those days where at the end of the day, I just want to call into bed with my daughter when she is sleeping and say "Mommy's Sorry". Luckily, kids are quite forgiving and a few snuggles later, all is well again.
I have to say that when we are haing "one of those days", if I can remember, I try to take them outside to play. The change of scenary and breath of fresh air does everyone good.
Also, for the nap escapee- use door knob covers. My little monkey tried to escape as well. Once we put the door knob covers on his door and he realized that he couldn't get out, he stopped trying.
Hang in there- you are a GOOD mom.
First off, that picture is just PRICELESS!
2nd, as children age, they find new & improved ways of driving you slowly and painfully to the nut house.
It's their job. However God has a sense of humor ... you get to be the snarky old grandma who gives their grandkids pure sugar and sees no issue with letting them use your bed as a trampoline.
Payback. It *is* a bitch.
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